One afternoon I kneeled to tie one of my daughter’s shoelaces and my back hurt so much, getting back up felt like knives on my spine. The look on her little scared face was enough for me to finally get the courage to face my reality, I needed help. I needed to put my fear aside and face the truth I was a not a regular 29 year old, no matter how normal I try to make myself look. I can not erase the past, the car accident 10 years ago had happened.

My life changed, November 18, 2009, I had been a passenger in a vehicle that crashed into a tree in which I broke my back, neck, hip, and more areas that I can not remember. Being in the hospital for 24 days, is a memory I wish I could forget. Having to learn how to walk all over again is something I don’t wish on my worst enemy. Being a scared 19 year old with no medical insurance was the most difficult part for me to deal with, so I didn’t. I just set my pain aside.I just kept thinking I’m okay, I’m young, so I have some back pain it could be worse.

Years past, I meet a wonderful man,whom I would marry, and have two beautiful girls with. My thoughts of the past slowly faded away or so I thought. The reality was I was scared to face the truth, I wasn’t okay and my back pain was getting worse. Even if it was what I wanted to accept it or not.

With my husband’s support, we went to the doctor I had been avoiding for years, and heard the dreaded news “you have arthritis on your lower back.” How could this be, I thought. I’m only 29 years old, not even my grandparents have arthritis. How could I have let it get that bad.

I would love to tell you that after hearing the news I went to all my physical therapy sessions really got my life together but sadly I didn’t. Instead I was sad and depressed for months. I let my sadness overwhelm me. It didn’t just consume me but my family as well. Mostly my daughters, they were used to their funny happy mom and I was far from that.

Until one day, I thought, enough was enough. I couldn’t let this diagnosis take over my life. It wasn’t going to let it define me. So I starting attending my physical therapy visits 3 times a week. It was hard at first to commit to myself. It was something I had never done. Not even before I had children but now as a mom of two girls, I had to make time for myself. I’m not going to lie, the mommy guilt is a real feeling. But to be able to take care of them I needed to take care of myself first. I continued therapy until I was told I graduated. I felt so accomplished. Something so small, ment the world to me.

It was the best thing I could have done. The pain slowly started to diminish of course not completely but I can tie my daughters shoelace now without crying to kneel down. Never would I have thought stretches and exersice would make a world of a difference.

It started my love for take care of myself. Also opened my eyes to a whole world of possibilities that I had denied myself before, from fear. Something grew inside me the idea to DREAM. To set goal for myself. I thought it was crazy at first but I thought why not, it is what I want, I want to RUN. Not just anything thing either, I want to run a MARATHON. That is 26.2 miles.

To get to that goal I have to take baby steps though. First, I’m going to start with a 5k on my 30th birthday on October 12. So I downloaded the app Couch to 5k. My start date was June 7. It has been a little over a month running at least 3 days a week and I recently was able to run 2 miles in 30 mins. Which was something I never thought would be possible for me.

I have so much more to go but I’m not going to give up. My family has been such great support for me to not give up. I let 10 years go by due to fear, but I have the rest of my life to make it up to myself.